The world of online dating has evolved significantly since the first dating websites came about in the 1990’s (thank god!). In 2023, online dating has hit the mainstream and it’s no longer a taboo method to meeting a potential partner.
There’s not only a much more diverse base of users using these platforms, but the technology has advanced to make it easier than ever before to meet new people.
With all this being said though, there are some traps that many people fall into when using these services that hinder the potential that online dating provides.
Remember, dating platforms like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and most others are really just technology companies. This means that you need to know how to use their apps properly to increase your chances of finding suitable matches – and the love of your life.
Whilst the tips below may seem like commonsense approaches, it can be easy to forget that the main purpose of these platforms is connection, and so connect is what you must do!
Keep reading for 3 of the best tips for using dating apps to connect with guys (or girls) now.
#1 – Take initiative
One of the biggest dating ‘rules’ many women hold onto is that they want the man to reach out to them first. This of course stems from the deep-rooted belief system that it is unfeminine for a female to initiate contact with a man. Many people also lack confidence when dating online and beyond.
However, taking this approach can be a huge mistake on a dating app. Why? quite simply, if you’re complacent and do not engage with the technology via swiping, liking and messaging, it won’t know what type of matches to send your way.
The more interaction you have with men via initiating conversations, the more likely the platform is to send you the kind of men you are interested in.
Think of it this way: if you just sit back, you’re leaving it up to the app itself to decide what kind of men to send you – if any! (yikes).
Secondly, many people of both sexes have relationship attachment styles that make them afraid of rejection and therefore they won’t take the first step to break the ice and just say hello.
It’s true that many of us would prefer to shield ourselves from this uncomfortable feeling and therefore wait for everyone else to do all the heavy lifting. However, in the world of online dating in 2023, rejection is a part of the process and you need to learn how to deal with it when it happens.
If someone you initiate with is not interested, doesn’t respond, ghosts you, or perhaps says something hurtful, you need to remember to not take any of it personally. Sure, it’s easier said than done!
Some people wisely believe that rejection is another form of protection from the wrong person which will lead you to meeting someone more suitable.
And last but not least, many women (and yes, men too), don’t really want to put the required effort in to dating. They want everyone to come to them – all the time.
Let’s face it: if you’re not up for spending 10-20 minutes a day online dating, and you really want to meet someone, you may need to re-prioritise. Rather than looking at it as a chore, look as it as a goal and change your mindset accordingly.
Alternatively, set aside some time in your calendar as if it were time you would spend with your new significant other. By making time for dating now, you’ll pave the way for the relationship you want in the future.
#2 – Send an email or message
As we explained above, women typically don’t initiate contact with men and therefore males receive much fewer likes, swipes and messages than women.
Therefore, if you’ve broken the barrier and sent a message to a man first, your efforts will grab attention and be appreciated in an instant.
But there’s a difference – don’t just ‘like’ his profile when you could send a message. Your message shouldn’t be an essay but it could include a suggestion of getting together for a coffee or similar. Most quality men will find this kind of confidence attractive.
Because most men are goal oriented, they’ll probably find that responding this kind of invitation is easy and you are most likely to get a quick response. If he doesn’t reply, don’t let any feeling of rejection hold you back from messaging others.
This strategy is reserved for men who have NOT already matched with you or swiped on your profile. This is for reaching out to those who don’t yet know you exist!
#3 – Be responsive
So you’ve sent your concise and friendly first message (including an invitation) and your target has replied with a ‘yes’. What next? Don’t play games and take a long delay in responding!
No one likes it when the person they have been chatting to goes cold, so therefore, don’t be that person who leaves a conversation hanging.
There’s no perfect time to reply, and you needn’t delay replying until you can find the time to craft up a haiku. The longer you leave it, the more likely your new match will go cold and move on to their other matches.
There’s nothing that’s more off-putting to a quality man who is not interested in game-playing than a woman who leaves him on read for days. Instead, respond in a timely manner and let him know next steps – whether it’s exchanging phone numbers to chat and vet each other, or asking him for a video call so you know you both want to meet in real life.
In summary, playing the game of not responding is one of the biggest culprits that prevents women from finding love through online dating.
Be disciplined and ethical in your online interactions by responding to your matches in a timely manner – you never know, you might just have matched with your future husband!